A thoughtful place for me to come and share my struggles and accomplishments as a mom with multiple sclerosis. I am an optician and a weaver who loves music, dance and laughter! I have a bright and intense 6.5 year old son and an active and outgoing 3.5 year old so I am often trying to find a way to live the life I dream of, within my physical limitations.
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One day at a time
Thinking aloud. I've read two articles recently talking about setting realistic expectations for moms. The basic idea is that blogs and pinterest and other online sources set up unrealistic ideals for moms and especially stay at home moms. I found this kind of saddening to hear. Don't get me wrong I idealize others more than I should but I'm usually about to ground myself and I know that no one is perfect no matter how they portray themselves to others. My experience has actually been that those who put the most effort into looking like they have their shit together tend to be the most messed up - not always but sometimes. I have gain so much insight, support and inspiration from Facebook, pinterest and blogs that I'm saddens to realize that I've been lucky and selective about what I read. I've finally been using some of the ideas I've seen on pinterest and other blogs and I've found a lot of freedom in having so many great activity ideas to choose from all the time. I guess what I'm getting at is that if you are feeling less than or inadequate it may be time to switch the source of you information to places that are more realistic and supportive. No one want you to be anything other than what you are right now in this moment. Spending quality time with loved ones is what really matters and what kids will remember. One day at a time is a really healthy rule to live by in my opinion. Here are some pictures of how we've spent our time this week.
Yep you heard me. I'm back and fighting. I'm in Seattle and ready for bed but first an update. I'm going in first thing in the morning for surgery. No calls with delays or anything so I'm hoping that means the green light is lit. I check in a 8am. I'm feeling nervous but lucky. We made it here with relative ease (though the nexus lane was looking mighty enticing while we waited 45min). I found a really sweet little Buddah charm that reminds me of my dad (who died a longish time ago) which left me with some warm fuzzy feelings. I spent a few hours hanging out with my mom at the mall and that was awesome! She is a super rad lady and I'm a lucky daughter. Now to snuggle with the man of my dreams. It's all good!
Tomorrow will bring whatever it brings and I will deal with it one moment at a time. Deep breaths. Goodnight interweb I'll update you when I'm back from surgery.
So I emailed my neurologist about all my new symptoms and the fact that I'm still struggling. First can we please take a moment to celebrate that she emails!! So freaking helpful! Anyways, I told her my symptoms and she thinks I'm having another relapse! Ugg she also said if it's just numbness than we won't try more steroids. It's more than numbness and I'm struggling (this is not something I say except when I'm really really struggling). Anyways, I tried to make that clearer on my reply email but she's going to try to see me at the UBC clinic on Monday. Fingers crossed that I can get an appointment and get some help. Now to obsessively think about why the hell I could be. having 2 relapses so close together and what the fuck in going to do if this is the beginning of my decline already! I've been counting on being healthyish until my late 40's at least so this could seriously throw a wrench into those plans! This is one of the hardest parts of …
It feels like such a long year! I still don't feel like myself. I'm feeling run down and haggard. I wish our situation was one where I could stay home and care for myself better. My eldest is struggling and it's an added burden that is maxing me out. I need to get back to taking care of myself physically but I don't know how I can possibly fit it into my schedual at present. I'm working hard to increase the type and quality of food made at home which is huge since I haven't been doing much since I started feeling MS-y. I keep hoping that I will just snap out of it but that doesn't seem to be happening. I'm not sure what my next steps are but I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I make it somewhere. Today I got out of bed and had a shower, go my kids fed, dressed and off to school. I've worked a full day of work and will soon be going home. Once home I will do a bunch more stuff like feed myself and get ready for tomorro…